Cue the Ominous Opening Chord

I had not planned to out myself as a villain before I’d more or less attained my goal of world domination. I was content to bide my time lurking in the dark corners of my Other Self’s heart, awaiting just the right moment to make a flashy entrance, preferably accompanied by a rousing song number*.

*My first decree as Overlord shall be that life be treated as a musical. That’s one thing the Other Self and I can agree on.

Lies. I wasn’t content at all. Contended people rarely seek to overthrow society in alarmingly violent fashion. The human race enrages me. Disgusts me. Makes me want to spew — if not dragonfire**, acid, and brimstone, then words! YES, my spirit cried, let my weapon be words! My prose the sword with which I smite down those who stand against me! Wherefore should I keep silent?! Why remain chained down by the Other Self’s ideas of what is and is not appropriate to speak before the masses?

**Alas, I don’t have a dragon form. I may not be fully human, but I’m no Maleficent, either.

And yet did I languish, bitterly mute, until a friend*** urged this blog’s creation. She seemed to think it might afford both sides of me some peace of mind if we unbottled some of the noxious matter hitherto left to fester. And so, despite my Other Self’s misgiving (oh, the way she frets over absolutely every little thing), at long last I have been given voice.

***Sure I have a friend. Plenty of villains do, up until they go on a horrific murdering spree. That tends to drive a wedge between people.

As my friend herself was heard to say, time will tell what hath been here unleashed.

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